My WordPress Blog
Today’s parents are expected to do everything perfectly. To make healthy meals, help with homework, schedule play dates, drive carpools, and show up to every game, recital, and parent-teacher conference showered and smiling. Oh, and they must also save up for college tuition for one, two, or more kids. While parenting is serious business, it […]
Today’s parents are expected to do everything perfectly. To make healthy meals, help with homework, schedule play dates, drive carpools, and show up to every game, recital, and parent-teacher conference showered and smiling. Oh, and they must also save up for college tuition for one, two, or more kids.
While parenting is serious business, it shouldn’t be serious all of the time. Parents need to remember to take advantage of the fact that they live with kids. After all, kids are geniuses at living in the moment and not sweating the small stuff. Kids, even older ones, are more than happy to have fun at a moment’s notice and nothing sounds sweeter than a child’s laughter.
It’s important to remember that parenting should be fun. If we focus too much on being good parents by getting all the stuff done, we’ll miss out on making wonderful memories with our kids.
Here are some ways you can start having more fun with your kids:
Be in the Moment
I guarantee, your eight-year-old doesn’t spend much time worrying about their schedule the following day or regretting a decision they made the day before. They are most likely fully engaged in the moment. All of their thoughts, feelings, and senses are involved in whatever activity they are doing right now.
Adults call this mindfulness, and if you’ve spent any time meditating, you know what I’m talking about. Your first step to having more fun with your kids is to be right there in the moment with them. Try not to let your mind wander to all of those very adult responsibilities. Follow your child’s lead and experience what is actually happening right now. Just be – with them.
Share Your Passions with Your Kids
If the idea of watching Dora the Explorer for three hours or playing Lego doesn’t thrill you, your kids will know you’re faking it. Why not introduce your kids to something you love to do?
If you love arts & crafts, why not start a creative project with your kids? Love cooking? Get them in the kitchen and teach them or take a cake decorating class together. Your kids don’t really care what they do with you, they just want to be with you. Sure, your teenager might be harder to sell on your hobbies, but try taking turns picking the activity and you can both learn something new.
Make Not Fun Things Fun
We don’t all have countless hours to devote to taking a class with our kids or going to the bowling alley every weekend. But this doesn’t mean we can’t have fun with them.
The truth is, ANY activity can be fun if we intend it to be. Doing the dishes together after dinner? See who can realistically quack like a duck. Have to study boring vocabulary words? Use a funny accent. Stuck in traffic on the way home from practice? Make up a song about the adventure.
When it comes to having more fun with your kids, there aren’t any rules, except to just do it.
Often anxious parents struggle the most with stopping the work and worry to play and connect with their children. If you are worried about passing on your anxious patterns or missing out on the joys of parenting, talking to a therapist can help. If you’d like to explore treatment options, please contact me to discuss setting up a free initial consultation session.
Anxiety is like fire: it can keep us safe and warm, or completely devastate our property and our lives. It’s good to be a little anxious at times for protection and motivation. When walking down a deserted street at night, anxiety keeps us on alert and ready to fight or run should a dangerous situation […]
Anxiety is like fire: it can keep us safe and warm, or completely devastate our property and our lives. It’s good to be a little anxious at times for protection and motivation. When walking down a deserted street at night, anxiety keeps us on alert and ready to fight or run should a dangerous situation arise. It can also help by giving us the push we need to stay on track to get a paper completed or study for a test.
When anxiety becomes the norm instead of the exception, it stops being helpful and can cause serious pain and problems, especially for adolescents. Without adequate coping skills, walking into a classroom or being with a group of people they don’t know can become crisis situations. The more they experience these scary events, the more they want to avoid similar situations, and the more anxiety becomes a chronic condition.
Here are 4 things parents and teachers should know about adolescent anxiety.
1. Anxiety includes Emotional Fear, Physical Symptoms, and Negative Thoughts
It is often difficult to tell, but the negative thoughts such as, “No one will like me,” or “Everyone is going to think I’m stupid” are often automatic and usually come first. These thoughts are then followed by physical symptoms such as a stomach ache, diarrhea, or shaking and shallow breathing and the intense fear. Learning how to shift both their thinking (“This will feel awkward, but I’ll be okay”) and physical symptoms (take slow, deep breaths), will help young people learn to cope with these stressful events and decrease the fear. Over time, teens can gain confidence that they can handle uncomfortable feelings instead of avoiding them.
2. Dealing with Anxiety Requires Problem Solving Skills
Life is full of uncertainties and gray areas. Parents of very young children help them navigate through these situations. However, adolescents are often out in the world without adult support, and must be equipped with problem solving skills, so they may tolerate uncertainty instead of avoiding it. Avoidance only makes things worse, as it builds on itself and gives anxiety more power.
3. The Adolescent Mind is More Sensitive to Environmental Stress
The adolescent mind is a jumble of chemical changes that can make any situation seem like time spent in a fun house. These hormonal changes make adolescence a particularly challenging time to cope with anxiety.
As you may remember, everything feels bigger and more intense as a teenager. Adults learn to handle the daily ups and downs through experience and the perspective gained over time. Hormones also settle down making us less reactive.
4. Anxiety is a Vicious Cycle
When young people are anxious, it’s easy for the adults around them to become anxious as a response. In an attempt to help, parents and teachers can take over, leading to being more controlling and inflexible. As adults, it’s important we manage our own anxiety around our kids and students, so we can support their emotional regulation and manage the overall situation much more effectively.
If you or a loved one is struggling with anxiety, therapy can help. If you’re interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today for a free consultation session.