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For many of us, college was a great time in our lives. The magic time between adolescence and full-adulthood. We had freedom and we were surrounded by peers for easy friendship building. Oh ya, there was classes and exams too. For some, however, the stress of college overrides the fun and makes it a predominantly […]
For many of us, college was a great time in our lives. The magic time between adolescence and full-adulthood. We had freedom and we were surrounded by peers for easy friendship building. Oh ya, there was classes and exams too. For some, however, the stress of college overrides the fun and makes it a predominantly negative experience. Even for those who have a great time at college, it can also be incredibly stressful, especially during mid-term and final exams.
The bigger and more important the exam is, the more we tend to suffer from anxiety, and the less likely we are to do our best. If this sounds familiar to you, then the following tips and exercises will help lower your anxiety before the next big exam.
1. Breathe Deeply
When we feel fear, our body can go into an adrenaline-fueled, “fight or flight” panic mode. This chemical and physical reaction is how our ancestors survived mortal threats. In this state, our minds only function in basic survival mode. We do not have access to higher level thinking and it can feel like your mind is completely blank.
When we take slow, deep breaths, we help our bodies go from the survival response to a relaxed response. This helps our brain reset to allow higher level thinking and focus on the task at hand.
2. Change Your Perspective
Most of us think of tests as something designed specifically to trick us or make us mess up. The truth is, if you have studied and are prepared, then the test is actually an opportunity for you to show off how much you know.
The other truth is your professors WANT you to pass. When you pass, they look good. So, stop going into the exam with a negative attitude and go in feeling confident and knowing when you do well, everyone wins!
3. Start Strong
To set the right tone for the test, scan it to find those questions you are 100% sure about and answer those first. This will help you feel confident and put your mind into a free-flow thinking state. As your confidence grows, your test anxiety will fade away.
4. Be Realistic
What is your history of taking exams? Have you generally done well in the past? Are you a good student that makes an effort? If so, remind yourself of these facts. It’s easy to have dramatic and unrealistic ideas floating around in your head right before an exam. Thoughts like, “I’m gonna fail and then I won’t pass the class and I won’t get my degree and will end up working at Starbucks the rest of my life if I’m lucky.”
The best predictor of future success is past performance. So, think about what is really likely to happen, rather than focusing on worst case scenarios.
5. Exercise
Exercise the morning before your exam. This will not only release built-up tension in your muscles (make sure to stretch after your workout), but it will also release “feel-good” endorphins that will put you in a better frame of mind.
If you would like some extra help handling the stressors of academic life, please reach out to me today to schedule an appointment. I would be happy to discuss how therapy can help you manage both situational anxiety and improve overall life satisfaction.
Sources:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-to-reduce-anxiety-right-here-right-now/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201502/test-anxiety-quick-tips
https://www.onlineschoolscenter.com/20-effective-ways-to-calm-your-nerves-before-an-exam/
You know the feeling when a stressful day leaves you completely drained? Stress is known to reduce our levels of serotonin and dopamine. These neurotransmitters play an important role in our mood, energy, and motivation. After a difficult day, you might be tempted to lounge on the couch watching TV until it’s time to go […]
You know the feeling when a stressful day leaves you completely drained? Stress is known to reduce our levels of serotonin and dopamine. These neurotransmitters play an important role in our mood, energy, and motivation.
After a difficult day, you might be tempted to lounge on the couch watching TV until it’s time to go to bed. Although it might feel good in the moment, it won’t give you the mood and energy lift you need after a rough day. Here are five simple ways you can recharge yourself:
1. Unplug
After a high stress day, you need to unwind. A great option is turning off your phone for some quiet, low-stimulation time. It can be tempting to sit on the couch with your phone all night, checking emails, responding to texts, or getting lost on Facebook or Instagram. However, this keeps your mind going and doesn’t let you settle.
Unplugging gives you a chance to calm and reset. Try keeping your phone out of arm’s reach (even better in another room) once you get home. On really stressful days, try to set it away from you when you get home and not to touch it again until after you’ve had a good night’s rest.
2. Go Outside
If the sun is still out after your rough day, put on your comfy shoes and go for a quick walk. Exposure to the sunlight will help your brain release serotonin, which will boost your mood and help you feel calm and focused. Exercise is also one of the best ways you can improve your mood, helping you relieve stress and sleep better at night. Even if the sun is down, a walk outside will still help, as the exercise and fresh air will help you feel invigorated.
3. Refresh Yourself
After a tough day, take the time to refresh yourself by taking a quick “cat nap.” Keep it under 45-minutes and it should not interfere with getting to sleep at night. A meditation of 5-20 minutes can be a great quick fix. Use your phone to find a guided meditation on YouTube or play some relaxing music while you meditate quietly.
You can also pamper yourself with a bubble bath or perk up with a quick shower. These will work best if you really focus on being in the moment. Tune in to your senses – the feeling of the water, the sound of the shower, and the smell of your body wash or shampoo.
4. Eat Healthy
A healthy dinner or snack is just the thing after a rough day. Avoid heavy comfort foods that will leave you feeling sluggish. Instead, nurture and fuel your body with protein, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. These foods will slowly release energy, giving you stable food sugar and a mental boost. You will also benefit from the good feeling of making a healthy choice.
5. Make Plans
Looking forward to something is a great way to boost your mood long-term. Plan a vacation, a weekend getaway, or just a day trip. Even planning a special meal, or a visit to restaurant, will help energize you.
Is stress causing you to feel tired, anxious, or depressed? Call me today to schedule a free consultation session and get your energy back!
A decade ago, few people were talking about meditation, let alone practicing it. Now, meditation is becoming wildly popular in the United States. Books, YouTube channels, and smartphone apps are dedicated to the study of it, and everyone from college students to senior citizens are reaping some pretty great benefits (I’ll get to those in […]
A decade ago, few people were talking about meditation, let alone practicing it. Now, meditation is becoming wildly popular in the United States. Books, YouTube channels, and smartphone apps are dedicated to the study of it, and everyone from college students to senior citizens are reaping some pretty great benefits (I’ll get to those in a minute).
Of course, there are still some people who are unsure if meditation is right for them. Some are concerned meditation is a form of religion, and worry it will be in conflict with their current faith. However, the practice of meditation is not inherently religious anymore than yoga or Tai Chi are.
Perhaps Deepak Chopra explains it best when he says, “Meditation is, first of all, part of every spiritual tradition…in the world. There are breathing meditations in every tradition. There are body-awareness meditations in every tradition. And there are variations of mantra meditation. It has nothing to do with belief or ideology or doctrine. It’s a simple mental technique to go to the source of thought.”
Mindfulness meditation is simply the practice of training your mind to be present in the moment. You don’t judge or analyze the moment, you simply are present and aware in the moment.
While that concept seems like hogwash to some, modern science has shown through numerous studies that meditation has many real benefits. Here are some of the top ones:
Alleviate Symptoms of Stress
Most of us are living with some amount of stress. Chronic stress can lead to a host of health issues. But meditation has been shown to lessen the effects of stress. For instance, meditation has been shown to reduce the levels of cortisol. Prolonged and elevated levels of cortisol have been linked to the development of insulin resistance, hypertension, and suppressed immunity.
Manage Chronic Pain
Mindful meditation, in conjunction with yoga, has been shown to decrease pain levels and increase a sense of well-being.
Fights Depression
According to a growing body of research, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) may be very beneficial in reducing depressive symptoms and preventing a relapse.
A Better Night’s rest
A lack of sleep can make life feel miserable. And chronic insomnia can lead to a suppressed immune system and other health issues. Research has shown that a meditation practice can help improve the quality of sleep.
If you’ve been curious about meditation but were concerned it wouldn’t mix with your particular faith, I encourage you to give it a try. It just might change your life for the better! Contact me today to set up a free consultation session.
SOURCES
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/coping-depression/2016/04/the-benefits-of-meditation-for-depression/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-surprising-health-benefits-of-mindfulness-meditation/
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/05/meditation-deepak-chopra_n_2600707.html
https://www.beliefnet.com/wellness/meditation/is-meditation-a-religious-practice.aspx
Being a parent is the hardest job ever! However, being a parent of a child with a chronic illness can feel unbearable at times. When your child is dealing with a serious mental illness, it is very important to provide the support they need in a loving and patient manner. All parents want to do […]
Being a parent is the hardest job ever! However, being a parent of a child with a chronic illness can feel unbearable at times. When your child is dealing with a serious mental illness, it is very important to provide the support they need in a loving and patient manner.
All parents want to do what’s right for their kids, but when your child is sick, physically or mentally, the desire to “get it right” becomes even more intense.
If you are the parent of a child with serious depression and/or anxiety, there isn’t one “right way” to parent them, but you can be a great support and advocate. Here are some ways you can show love and support for your child as they find their way back to health.
Accept Your New Reality
For many parents, accepting that your child has a mental illness is very difficult. It is natural to want to deny the seriousness of situation and pretend that everything is the way it was before the diagnosis. However, this attempt at self-protection can feel invalidating and shameful to your child. Accepting the reality of the situation allows you to focus on getting the right help and to treat the illness effectively, without you child feeling at fault.
Communicate Openly
Your child needs you now more than ever and to know that they can talk to you about anything, even the scary parts. Sit down with your child and tell them they can come to you at any time for any reason. Tell them that it is especially important that they reach out when their world feels dark and hopeless or overwhelming. Let them know you would never be angry at them for how they feel. When they are ready to talk, listen closely, and really hear them with an open mind and heart. You don’t need to “fix it,” rather to show that you understand and will be an ally in helping them to get better.
Help Their Body
The health of the body impacts the mind, especially when the mind is already stressed with depression and/or anxiety. Help your child’s recovery by encouraging healthy eating habits by limiting sugar, processed foods, and caffeine intake. Also, encourage them to get exercise at the level that they can handle. Start with a walk around the block or doing some light yard work as a family. Sleep is also an important foundational support. Help you child get enough rest each night by setting firm bed times with no screens in their room.
Talk to Them About Suicide
It’s a conversation no parent wants to have. Unfortunately, these days all parents need to be aware of the risk, and for the parent of a depressed or severely anxious child, the risk of suicide is an important issue to deal with head on. Start the conversation with your child by asking if they’ve ever thought about suicide. Be mindful of keeping your voice and comments non-judgemental and not overly reactive. Asking these questions in an objective way allows your child to speak candidly with you and share their true thoughts and feelings with you.
Some parents worry that bringing up suicide will increase the risk, by planting the thought in their child’s head, but there is no risk of that. However, hearing about others committing suicide can increase the risk, so make sure to check in with your child if there is a suicide at their school or one that is getting a lot of media coverage.
Get Help
When your child is dealing with a serious depression and/or severe anxiety, they will be best helped by a team approach. You are on the front lines and can be a big support in your child’s life, but you don’t need to figure how to help them alone or carry all of the burden. Having the guidance of a trained mental health therapist or psychologist and psychiatrist, if needed, will be very beneficial. Your pediatrician, local support groups, friends and family can all be good sources of referrals. You can also check with your insurance under the “Find a Doctor” section and research providers on-line.
If you or a loved one has a child suffering with depression or severe anxiety, you are not alone. Please contact me for a free consultation to discuss parenting support or therapy for your child.
Do you find yourself having difficulty getting to sleep or spending the night tossing and turning and watching the clock? If so, you are not alone, many people go though periods where they worry about getting enough sleep. According to the National Institutes of Health, close to 20% of Americans suffer from some kind of […]
Do you find yourself having difficulty getting to sleep or spending the night tossing and turning and watching the clock? If so, you are not alone, many people go though periods where they worry about getting enough sleep. According to the National Institutes of Health, close to 20% of Americans suffer from some kind of sleep disorder that causes them distress. That’s a lot of people walking around feeling tired and not at their best and worry about getting enough sleep can actually make the problem worse!
Symptoms of Insomnia
People who are experiencing insomnia have difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting back to sleep with early waking. These sleep disturbances cause stress and anxiety, and make daily activities like work more challenging, by interfering with cognitive processes like memory and logical thinking. Insomnia often also causes irritability and fatigue and when it is persistent it may be a contributing factor of depression.
Causes of Insomnia
Insomnia is a complex condition that may have several situational and individual factors that researchers are still trying to wrap their heads around. The good news is that we do know that there are certain conditions that make people more prone to insomnia and there are treatments that can really help!
Remember these are factors that are correlated with a greater likelihood of insomnia, not that you are stuck with it.
Treatment of Insomnia
It is important to rule out a medical cause, like sleep apnea or Restless leg syndrome, if you have risk factors. These conditions can be assessed and treated effectively by your physician.
For non-medical causes or for insomnia that is persisting even after the medical condition has been treated, CBT-I (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia) can be a very effective intervention. CBT-I targets the thoughts and behaviors that are disrupting and maintaining your inefficient sleep pattern. This therapeutic strategy encourages good sleep habits while relieving anxiety, through teaching you what is happening and how you can change the patterns.
Mindfulness exercises can also be a helpful adjunct to help you learn to calm your mind and body to prepare for good quality sleep.
It is important to work with a qualified therapist who can help you determine the specific causes of your sleep issues and is trained in interventions that are proven to be effective. If you or someone you care about are suffering from insomnia, please feel free to contact me for a free consultation. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help you get the rest you need.
When someone you care about suffers from anxiety, it can feel both necessary and difficult to help them cope. When panic and/or anxiety attacks hit, they can lead to a number of symptoms that may overwhelm your loved one and make you feel helpless as you try to support them. Here are some tips to […]
When someone you care about suffers from anxiety, it can feel both necessary and difficult to help them cope. When panic and/or anxiety attacks hit, they can lead to a number of symptoms that may overwhelm your loved one and make you feel helpless as you try to support them. Here are some tips to help you provide support to your friend or family member who experiences high anxiety and/or panic attacks.
Listen
Help your loved one feel less alone by showing them that they can talk to you without fear of judgment or unwanted advice. It will help them to know that they have a safe person to talk to even if it is about repetitive with fears or thoughts. While they are alone with these thoughts swirling in their head it is difficult to break free, but talking it out can reduce some of the anxiety.
Depending on the nature of the relationship, it may be appropriate to let them know that they can call or text you at any time to talk or to set clear expectations about when you can be available to them. You don’t have to be available all of the time, but you do have to mean it when you say that you will be there to talk.
Let Them Pace the Conversation
It might seem uncaring to avoid the topic of anxiety with your loved one, but even asking about anxiety or panic attacks may trigger an episode for someone who suffers with this disorder. It is fine to ask how they’re doing and discuss their anxiety if they want to. The important part is to let your loved on control the pacing of when and how to talk about their anxiety and how it impacts their life.
Be There
Spending time with a close friend or loved one can be very helpful. Try and find an activity that keeps you both having fun and mentally occupied. Exercise and outdoor activities may be especially helpful, as sunlight and exercise are well-documented mood boosters. Spending time with your friend or loved one provides both a meaningful distraction to keep their mind off of the anxiety and a chance for connection and acceptance.
Being with your loved one as they face situations that make them anxious can also be helpful. Make sure to ask how to best support them through the situation. If you see them getting anxious, would it help to remind them to breathe? To hold their hand? Or to just be near them as comfort? Each person is different, so make sure that you are responding in the way that is most helpful to your loved one.
Be Patient
If you have never experienced a panic attack, you may struggle to understand what your friend or loved one is experiencing and why they can’t just stop overreacting. You may even have difficulty comprehending what it means to suffer with chronic, severe anxiety. Your loved one may understand that it’s not logical for them to feel fear or anxiety about something, so it might be confusing why they can’t control their anxiety with that same knowledge.
Anxiety disorders are very treatable, but it will take time and an effort to learn how to change this painful pattern. They may also need the support of a trained therapist and possibly medication to get effective management of their anxiety.
Recognize Accomplishments
Make an effort to note when you see your loved one make improvements in managing their anxiety. Acknowledgement of positive change will reinforce the effort and encourage them to keep working. It will also make your loved one feel seen and respected for the hard work they are putting in to getting healthier.
If you or a loved one is suffering with anxiety or panic disorder and needs help, check out my website for further tips, and feel free to contact me for a free consultation.
Struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep? You’re not alone, millions of Americans struggle with insomnia, the chronic inability to get sufficient sleep. In fact, more than a third of Americans aren’t getting enough sleep on a daily basis, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2014 study. Lack of sufficient sleep is […]
Struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep? You’re not alone, millions of Americans struggle with insomnia, the chronic inability to get sufficient sleep. In fact, more than a third of Americans aren’t getting enough sleep on a daily basis, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2014 study.
Lack of sufficient sleep is associated with many serious medical conditions including obesity, high blood pressure and heart disease. Getting a decent amount of sleep on a regular basis is essential for a long and healthy life. Here are five things you can do to change your routine and feel rested by getting to sleep quickly and staying asleep.
1. Save the Bed for Just Two Things
Make sure that your bed is used only for two things: sex and sleep. This will create a strong bed-sleep association by using your bed almost exclusively for sleep. So when you tuck in at night, your brain and body will pair your bed with rest and relaxation, making it easier to fall asleep.
2. Exercise Regularly
Getting regular exercise (ideally at least thirty minutes a day, five days a week) will help you promote healthy sleep habits. Make sure to exercise earlier in the day or at least 3 hours before bed to allow your system to cool off and settle down after. Regular exercise can also help reduce anxiety and stabilize mood which also supports healthy sleep.
3. Naps, Caffeine, & Alcohol
Naps are helpful for some, but for others it impacts their ability to fall asleep. If you’re struggling with insomnia, keep naps short (less than 45 minutes) and only if needed.
Caffeine, a known stimulant, may keep you up longer than you’re aware. Start with no caffeine after 2pm and move earlier if you are still having difficulty. Some people need to avoid caffeine entirely if they are very sensitive as it can prevent falling asleep.
Alcohol can also disrupt your sleep even though it is a sedative. While you may get to sleep better initially, it can cause you to have trouble staying asleep or getting good sleep quality, so avoid alcohol within a few hours of bedtime.
4. No Screens Before Bedtime
Screen time, such as computers, tablets, and smart phones, can prevent you from falling asleep due to the light tricking your brain into thinking it is still daytime. This delays your melatonin production, which is the chemical our bodies produce to tell our brain that it is time for sleep. Help your body get ready for sleep by eliminating screen time at least two hours before bed.
5. Create a Nighttime Routine
Creating a regular nighttime routine will help your body get into the habit of winding down and relaxing as it prepares for sleep. Create a nighttime routine an hour or two before bed. For instance, brush your teeth, change into your pajamas, and settle in to read a book every night before bed. At least while you are establishing your healthy sleep routine, make sure you go to bed and get up around the same time every day, including weekends.
Changing old habits and establishing a new routine can be difficult, but well worth it for a good nights sleep on a regular basis. These healthy habits will help you get the rest you need.
Are you still struggling with insomnia and need help establishing and maintaining healthy sleep habits? Feel free to call me today to set up a free consultation. I can help you figure out what is getting in the way of you getting a good nights sleep and help you establish a healthy sleep pattern.
As beautiful and joyous as life can be, it can also be plain ol’ stressful. Whether it’s hefty mortgage payments, killer commutes, or bosses who don’t give us the credit we deserve, stress can come at us from all different angles. Surveys have uncovered some pretty disturbing statistics about stress. 33% of people feel they […]
As beautiful and joyous as life can be, it can also be plain ol’ stressful. Whether it’s hefty mortgage payments, killer commutes, or bosses who don’t give us the credit we deserve, stress can come at us from all different angles.
Surveys have uncovered some pretty disturbing statistics about stress. 33% of people feel they live with extreme stress, while 48% believe the stress in their lives has increased over the past five years. And a whopping 77% of people surveyed said they experience physical symptoms caused by stress.
What are some of these physical symptoms linked to chronic stress?
• Pain of any kind
• Sleep problems
• Autoimmune diseases
• Digestive problems
• Skin conditions, such as eczema
• Heart disease
• Weight problems
• Reproductive issues
• Thinking and memory issues
How Meditation Can Help
There is now scientific evidence that meditation is effective against physical symptoms of stress such as IBS, high blood pressure, and ulcerative colitis. Meditation has been linked with improved immune response, reduction in pain sensitivity, and a shift from negativity to positivity.
Further, research has shown that meditation may physically alter the brain and how we are able to cope with chronic stress.
But what exactly is meditation? When many people hear that word, they have instant visions of people sitting in lotus position chanting, “Ohmmm.”
Mindful meditation is simply the practice of harnessing our attention to quiet our chattering minds. Instead of letting our brains run rampant like energetic puppies, sniffing one thought after another and another and another, mindfulness focuses our attention in the now.
The problem is because mediation is so deceptively simple, many people either feel it can’t possibly work in general, or they won’t benefit from it. And because we live in a society that seems to promote instant gratification, other people expect that after their first 20 minutes of meditating, all of their problems will magically dissolve.
But meditation is called a “practice” for a reason. Like anything else that is beneficial to your mind and body (sound nutrition and exercise), it takes commitment to reap those benefits.
Tips for Beginner Meditator
If you are interested in trying meditation for yourself, here are a few key tips:
• Get comfortable – you don’t have to sit in the lotus pose. You can sit in a comfy chair or even lie down. The trick is to be comfortable enough that your body sensations don’t distract you, but not so comfortable that you fall asleep.
• Don’t try and control your breath, just breathe naturally, simply staying aware of your breath.
• Start with just a few minutes and build from there.
• Don’t try to be perfect. There is no perfection in life or meditation, so just keep practicing every day.
If you find after you’ve been meditating for a little while that you could use some extra help dealing with the stress in your life, get in touch with me. I’d be happy to explore treatment options with you and talk about how I may be able to help.
Anxiety is a natural emotional response involving feelings, thoughts, and body sensations. It’s a signal that something might be going on in or around us that poses danger. Anxiety gets us ready to keep ourselves safe by preparing for fight or flight. When signaling true danger or the need for extra attention, anxiety is an […]
Anxiety is a natural emotional response involving feelings, thoughts, and body sensations. It’s a signal that something might be going on in or around us that poses danger. Anxiety gets us ready to keep ourselves safe by preparing for fight or flight.
When signaling true danger or the need for extra attention, anxiety is an uncomfortable, but short-lived reaction, that occurs in particularly stressful times. However, for some, anxiety may be more persistent and influence their daily life. Sometimes, anxiety even becomes a painful chronic condition that hurts so much that it causes people to hide and lose out on much of the joy in life.
Here are some healthy coping strategies you can use to start to manage anxiety more effectively:
Breathe
While it sounds basic, attention to your breathing is one of the best strategies for calming down acute anxiety flare ups. Slow, deep breaths have been shown to quickly calm a person. You can slow your heart rate, relax your muscles, and even slow racing thoughts, by putting your attention on your breathing in a purposeful way.
Understand Your Anxiety
Anxiety is strong emotions of fear or nervousness, physical sensations like tightness in the chest, rapid heartbeat and shortness of breath, and thoughts about what horrible things could happen. In the midst of intense anxiety or a panic attack, it can feel like you are dying, but remind yourself that what you are feeling is normal as your body prepares for fight or flight. Check in with if this response is needed and if not, work to calm yourself by talking yourself down and breathing.
Learn to Observe and Change Your Thought Patterns
How often are you aware of your own thoughts? Many times are thoughts are so automatic that they occur without much control from our conscious mind. For those experiencing anxiety, many of these thoughts will be negative and frightening, based on worse case scenarios.
Starting to pay attention to the thoughts behind the feelings gives you power. Challenge your thoughts by checking on the realistic likelihood. What are the chances of this really happening on a scale of 1 – 10? What is more likely? Is your level of anxious preparation right for the more likely outcomes?
The more you do this, the more you will retrain your mind to process life differently.
Learn Your Triggers
Once you learn to pay attention to your thoughts and remain calm knowing you are having a natural reaction to what you perceive as a threat, find the trigger. Observe your surroundings to find what activated your panic reaction. If it is an external trigger, and there are other people in the room, notice their reaction to your trigger. Do they seem uneasy or concerned? If it is an internal trigger, take a minute to observe and breath. Notice what parts of your anxiety are really for the present situation and which parts are from the past.
When you identify your triggers, store this information to avoid being blindsided again. You can work on reducing your reactivity by calming yourself each time this trigger occurs.
Ask For Help
If you find you need more help learning to control your anxiety, please feel free to call me for a free consultation. I would be more than happy to discuss treatment options.
Why is Your Teen Glued to Their Phone? When your child was small, they might have needed their favorite “blanky” or stuffed animal to feel safe. Well, just because your child is “all grown up” doesn’t mean teenagers don’t still seek comfort items. For most teens today, their phone has become their security blanket. They […]
Why is Your Teen Glued to Their Phone?
When your child was small, they might have needed their favorite “blanky” or stuffed animal to feel safe. Well, just because your child is “all grown up” doesn’t mean teenagers don’t still seek comfort items. For most teens today, their phone has become their security blanket. They can’t seem to go to bed, or anywhere else for that matter, without their precious smart phone by their side.
Why is This Phone Dependency a Problem?
The University of Maryland conducted a study as part of The World Unplugged project where researchers evaluated students from 10 different countries to see what would happen when the students had to forgo their phones for 24 hours. Their results were eye-opening, as they found that the majority of students experienced distress during this time without their phones.
Another large-scale study involving more than 2,500 college students found that 60% of them admitted to being addicted to their phone.
The danger is that this addiction can sometimes be linked to unhealthy mental behaviors. For instance, researchers at the Catholic University of Daegu in South Korea found that teens who used their smartphones the most showed troubling psychological issues such as aggression, depression, anxiety, and tended to withdrawal more.
Also, adolescents need a high level of peer interaction, but now even though they still go out in groups, they all have their heads down with their eyes glued to their phones. So, are they really getting the peer support and interaction that they need to help them through this difficult developmental stage?
While more research is needed, and cellphone addiction is not yet categorized as a real disorder, it is clear that teens are having trouble putting their phones down even for their own good.
What Are Some Signs That Your Teen May be Addicted to Their Phone?
How do you prevent your own kid from experiencing the aggression, depression, or anxiety associated with overuse of a smart phone? First, you must recognize signs that there may be a problem:
– Does your child feel the need to respond to everything immediately? Do they seem unable to resist that urge?
– Does your child constantly check their phone, even when it isn’t ringing or vibrating? This behavior actually called ‘phantom vibration’. This is a definite sign that your teen may have an addiction.
– Does your child seem disconnected from the real world and ignore what is happening right in front of them?
– Does your child express or show symptoms that feel anxious or angry when they are away from their phone?
What Can You Do To Help?
First, try speaking with your teen about their phone use and your concerns. Changing this behavior is easiest if you can get your child to understand that making rules about phone use is to protect them. They may or may not be receptive to the talk, but it’s a good idea to invite your adolescent to be part of making the rules and regulations.
Next, set some rules, preferably with your teen. Understand that changing this behavior will be difficult, so try to start slow. You may want to start by saying phones are not allowed at the dinner table. Of course, you as a parent must follow your own rules if you want your teen to.
Next, you might want to enforce a “no bedtime” rule. Studies have found electronic equipment like laptops and cellphones hinder sleep. Try and encourage your teen to leave their phone out of their room and try some quiet time before bed by reading or listening to music. Some families find a charging station in the kitchen or living room is a good way to get everyone to unplug before bed.
What’s Next?
Once the new pattern is established, encourage your teen to start regulating their own behaviors. That’s what growing up is all about, but know that your job as a parent is to enforce healthy rules until your child is ready to take over. Check in and help them as needed to stay on the right path to cell phone use, not dependence!
If you are worried that your teen is getting into trouble, a trained therapist can help you get on the right track. I work with adolescents and adults to help you figure out how to find balance in this fast paced world.