Treat Yourself Right: The Importance of Putting Yourself First & Self Care

Most children are brought up to be kind and respectful of other people. They are taught to consider others’ feelings and help those in need. However, when it comes to taking care of themselves, many people lack the ability to put their own needs first.

To some, the concept of self-care is as foreign as the language and customs of far away lands. The idea of putting their own needs first feels somehow wrong, or even selfish.

The good news is that it’s never too late to learn to treat yourself as you do others; to put yourself first in a healthy, energizing way. Here are some ways you can rewire your brain so it becomes increasingly easier to put yourself first, thereby recharging your life.

Learn to Say No

Being a caring and compassionate person is wonderful, but sacrificing yourself by saying “yes” all the time to other people’s needs will deplete your energy. As you learn to say “no,” it will be an adjustment for you and the people close to you. However, healthy people in your life will respect that you are caring for yourself. It will also give you more energy for when you do say “yes” and you will be genuinely agreeing to be there, so no passive-aggressive overflow from conflicted feelings.  Try to start saying “no” more often and if any guilt pops up, remind yourself that you are saying “yes” to caring for yourself!

Ask for Help

When you’ve taken on the role of helping others, it can feel uncomfortable asking for help when you need it. After all, you’re the one people go to when in need how can you possibly allow yourself to be in a position where help is required?

The thing to remember is, some of these people who come to you for help feel no shame or discomfort in asking for it. They need help, they ask for it, they get it. So why not follow their lead?  On the other hand, some people who have difficulty asking for help may feel better if it is a two-way street. You might actually help them feel that the relationship is balanced by asking them for help too. This can bring you closer together and get you the support that you need.

As soon as you release the pressure you’ve put on yourself to handle everything alone, you will feel a tremendous weight lifted and feel more connected to those around you.

Get to Know Yourself!

Do you know what makes you tick? What do you like and dislike? People who are wired to neglect their own needs don’t typically know themselves very well. Knowing oneself is seen as a luxury that they don’t deserve.

Self-love and self-care require you get to know your SELF. Take some time to discover what you enjoy. Once you find what it is that makes you feel good and commit to doing it more often. Look for balance in various domains that contribute to your satisfaction – fun, achievement, helping, exercise, etc.  Having more pleasure in your life will make you a happier person.

Taking these actions will have a tremendous impact on your life. As you get better and better at putting your needs first, you will feel happier and more empowered. You will know, deep down, that your own needs matter and you are worth the effort.

Some people have a tremendously hard time with these exercises because they have a very low self-esteem. And the longer you have lived with a low self-esteem, the harder it is to make positive changes. In these instances, seeking the guidance of a trained therapist can be incredibly beneficial. He or she can help you work through any childhood trauma and provide tools to manage any anxiety or depression that often accompanies a low self-esteem. If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today for a free session.