Breaking the Ice: Tips on Making Female Friends at Work for Women

Don’t you wish it was as easy to make friends today, as it was when you were a kid? Unfortunately, adult friendships often take more work to establish and maintain. Especially in the workplace, women can sometimes feel on-guard around other women and friendships can be harder to foster. Studies have found friendships, or a lack of friendships, has a big impact on our overall health and well-being, so it is worth the work to connect.

Here are some ways you can foster real friendships with other women at work.

Make it a Priority

It’s easy to tell yourself you’d like to make friends with the women you work with, but following up on that impulse takes real effort. The journey of friendship is one you must commit to and nurture. Ask a coworker to lunch, compliment someone on the fine job she did, and invite others into the discussions you are leading. Each day make it a priority to reach out and connect, to build closer relationships with the women you work with.

Focus on Quality Not Quantity

Not everyone has real “friend potential” and that’s okay. Depending on how many female coworkers you have, you most likely won’t be able to make real and lasting friendships with all of them. This is not a popularity contest where you try to get everyone to like you. This is about seeking out women with whom you have a connection and putting in the effort to form a lasting bond.

Expect Some Rejection

The truth is, there’s not a whole lot of difference between romantic dating and platonic “dating.” You may feel a connection with another woman at work and ask her out to lunch. She may say no and that’s okay.

Don’t let rejection stop your efforts. Just as no one at work really knows your inner life and feelings, you don’t know anyone else’s. Some women may simply be in a bad space in their life and don’t have the energy to connect with a new person. Move on and keep trying. Eventually you will make a true and lasting connection.

Keep the Momentum Going

Once you’ve had that initial lunch or get-together, keep the momentum going. Building a relationship is like building a fire. It takes a bit of work to get that kindling to catch, but once it does, the fires grows and keeps you warm.

Like anything else in life, friendships require our time and attention, but when you consider the value and meaning they bring to our life, they are worth the extra effort.

If you are struggling to connect to others due to fears of rejection or judgment, therapy can help you deal with your social anxiety and get connected. Feel free to contact me to discuss how therapy could help.

Sources:

https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/03/04/women-report-increased-discrimination-from-workplace-queen-bees/133258.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/working-btches/201308/why-are-some-women-nasty-other-women

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201605/10-ways-make-and-keep-friendships-adult